National Security Agency Intercepts Phone Calls Between Osama bin Ladin and Howard Dean

National Security Agency Intercepts Phone Calls between Osama bin Ladin and DNC Chairman Howard Dean.
The National Security Agency intercepted long distance phone calls from Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean to an untraceable phone in Afghanistan.  The voice on the phone appeared to be Osama bin Ladin.  In the call, Howard Dean, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, pleaded with bin Ladin not to stage any attacks during the Democratic National Convention in 2008, saying that such an attack would help the Republicans win the White House—again.  “I plead with you, bin Ladin, if you are going to stage an attack, please do so when it will have the maximum possible damage to the Republicans, not us,” Howard Dean was heard saying on taped transcripts leaked to the national press corps.  
This was not the first time Democrats have justified attacks on innocent Americans.  After September 11, for instance, Michael Moore, intellectual scholar of the left in America, was overheard saying that the attack was absurd because, well, New York City voted for Gore.  (Mr. Moore was unable to grasp that terrorists hate Republicans and Democrats equally).
Later that day Howard Dean protested President Bush’s once secret NSA wire tap program, saying that these secret wire tap programs unjustifiably interfere with the rights of Americans to have well-informed discussions with terrorists such as Osama bin Ladin. “How can a decent citizen hope to be able to make contact with such individuals if the government is listening in?  This is big brother!  Plus, well, I am sure that there are some good citizens who have some good reasons for speaking with a terrorist.  I can’t think of one at the moment, though.  Yeahhhhh!”  
Meanwhile, President Bush’s advisors told him that releasing Howard Dean’s transcripts with Osama bin Ladin would be unwise since Democrats would scream foul and claim that this is an underground right-wing coup against the leader of the Democratic National Committee.  Bush accepted the advice of his counselor and decided not to release such transcripts.  “I’m sick of hearing the Democrats complain when I do the right thing.  I still have the ringing sound of Nancy Pelosi saying “tax cuts for the rich” every time I’m trying to fall asleep,” Bush said.  
(The following was satire).  

Democrats hate America

Democrats hate America.  

Despite America’s appetite for aggressive efforts to attack al Queda, Democrats have done nothing but stand in the way and demand additional rights and safeguards for terrorist detainees.  U.S. Senate Democrats have decided that their constituencies -- aging 1960s liberals, university professors, international celebrities – are in line with the terrorists.  Despite cries from across the country to get tough on terrorism, Democrats have sided with the terrorists’ interests.  
     Every time the terrorists attack American soldiers or innocent Iraq citizens in Iraq, you can count upon the Democrats to argue to “pull out” of Iraq (didn’t the Democrats learn anything in their sex-ed class: premature pull outs are not effective strategies!)  Certainly the Democrats, especially the professoriate class, are able to understand that there must be some inherent reason that the terrorists have headed to Iraq.  Would reason could that be?  Surely the terrorists did not enter Iraq with the intent of creating a peaceful country that will be allies with the world community.  
     Even if the Democrats do not support the war against Saddam Hussein, perhaps because they believe that Mr. Hussein was an honorable statesman in the mold of George Washington, they should not continue to disparage the war effort.   For one thing, the terrorists continue to attack the troops, not because they intend to win on the battlefield, but rather because they hope that this will cause the Democrats to speak more loudly against the war, hoping for a withdrawal.  This is not in the national interests of the United States.  If we did withdraw prematurely, the terrorists would not only take over Iraq and establish a terrorist state, but terrorists would continue to strike against America’s interests in the hopes that wimp Democrats would support a withdrawal. Democrats who continue to speak out against the war, hoping for a withdrawal, obviously hate America and have sided with our terrorist enemies.  
     Democrats have to realize that they are weak on national security and should focus on their strengths—whatever that may be.  National polls taken over the last few decades have shown that the public has consistently given Democrats poor marks for their stance on national security issues.  It is therefore quite surprising that Democrats have chosen to continue to focus on this issue.   In life, one must narrow one’s focus towards those things that they are able to accomplish.  Democrats have never won a national election based upon their stanches on national security.  Isn’t it time that the Democrats withdraw from this particular issue?  
     The constituency within the Democratic Party that cares about national security positively scares the public.    When the public at large sees protests from Democratic activists groups—such as A.N.S.W.E.R. (an international, extreme, left-wing anti-war group that has never condemned a dictatorship in its entire existence)—the public becomes fearful.  The public rightly things that such individuals would not be proper representatives of the public at large. Even more unfortunate is that the Democrats have to be accountable to these irresponsible individuals.  The main reason that formerly “mainstream” Democrats have to listen to these malcontents is because the malcontents, lead by party chairman Howard Dean, actually represent the base of the party.  And the base of the Democratic Party clearly hates America, resents our standard of living, and wishes to send the United States back to a period of time where we were a third-world nation.  Unfortunate, but true.  Therefore, the public can only protect America by opposing the Democratic Party, which clearly hates America.

Damn Illegal Alien Mexicans

You know the more I hear about the results of immigration, the more I actually personally loathe and have bitter hatred for the illegal immigrants who cross the border. Okay, I'll admit it: I am a hateful person. I don't like what they are doing to our society and I resent is quite strongly. For instance, I have talked about this many times, but the destruction of the Ambassador Hotel is the last straw. It appears as though those evildoers at the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) actually knew that most of the students who will go to school on the site of the former Ambassador Hotel are illegal immigrants."Officials were planning to replace the long-shuttered grande dame of Wilshire Boulevard with a school big enough for 4,000 students, many of them immigrants and minorities, who would otherwise have to keep riding buses across town." So the fuck cares if they have to go ride on a bus across town. We are going to destroy a national monument just so a bunch of illegal alien Mexican gang members can go to a local school? FUCK THEM!!! DAMN I AM ANGRY TODAY!!!