Democrats Support 100% Tax Rate

Washington – Democratic Members of the House of Representatives announced today a new tax plan, creating a new marginal tax bracket of 100% for all taxpayers. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) announced the plan with a smile, saying, “While President Bush’s tax cut plan goes to the rich, this plan will help the average American family since all their money will go to Washington, D.C. and we will have an opportunity to expand social welfare programs to benefit them.”

Many conservatives have criticized the plan, calling it similar to communism. House Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) called it a “power grab by a few socialists in the House.” Rep. Henry Waxman angrily responded: “If we don’t impose this new tax of 100% on every American’s income, we will never be able to provide seniors a prescription drug benefit, Social Security modernization, and affordable daycare.”

Some Americans have looked at the plan with skepticism, but Democrats said that most Americans do not understand the plan yet. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said that “this plan is a bit more complicated and it is premature to criticize the plan.” He also added: “I am troubled by the amount of criticism this plan has received.”

University professors have been some of the most avid supporters of the tax plan. Robert Smith, Ph.D., a professor of political science at an east coast Ivy League school recently told a class that this “100% tax rate will help bring about a more cooperative, less hierarchical and better managed livelihood of our economic sphere.” Most students sat quietly and took notes.

When asked why he keeps most of his money abroad in tax-sheltered accounts, Smith defended this practice by saying that he was conducting important research and could not be bothered, as everyone else will under the plan, of having to lobby Congress to get a stipend for personal usage. “My research,” Smith later said, “has to do with Marxist philosophers who live in clubs sipping champagne in France, which is vitally important.”